34 Lessons
There’s only one quality of a system that has any significance, and that’s whether it works for you. Modes of organization are no different here. You can launch eight different heavily-architected note taking or task management systems—the one that works is the one you easily revisit and utilize regularly. Personal utility beats grand appeal.
Wait out your non-beneficial cravings. They’ll pass.
To limit distraction or detraction, remove options. Silence your notifications. Set rules and boundaries. In areas of highest priority, do not be afraid to be resolute and binary.
Wholly related to lesson three: Determine what's required for you to be effective in the areas that matter to you. Filter accordingly.
What is meant for you will not miss you. Be present; be available.
Do not lament that which you did not invite. What is not your fault needn't be your shame.
Find and play in the arena where the authentic you wins. The authentic you is the one you can sustain. It is easy to "win" inauthentically, to give your best years to the available thing. Be patient in finding and refining your arena; be impatient in playing in it once able.
You’ll never be younger than you are right now. What should that mean?
You have to own the choices that created the possibility of the scenarios in which you find yourself. In other words, know what pains you're introducing in the pursuit of your interests. Own those, too.
Do not respond drastically [permanently] to the stimulus that is temporary.
The essence of who you are will follow your assent (or dissent). This is true for you, and everyone.
Knowing something will end frees us to make its duration great. Honor and maximize accordingly.
No one is thinking about the last weird thing you said as much as you are. Take comfort and move on, too.
Don't underestimate the value the compounding value of time spent with your loved ones. Remember the words of Roman emperor and stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius: "It follows that the good of a rational being must be in fellowship with others; for it has long been proved that we were born for fellowship."
Anything deemed worth doing is worth doing sooner, even if it's the wrong thing (you can recover from it, sooner). [h/t Bill Perkins, author of Die With Zero]
What people often want for you is what they want for them (often portrayed as a highly-romanticized encouragement). Be uniquely attuned to those whose feedback is rooted, primarily, in reality.
Let those close to you know what you're working on. They'll either encourage you, or at the very least, have the necessary context for your behavior.
Don’t hesitate to leverage the people around you who are supposed to be stronger in certain areas than you are. Work is a context that reminds us that we are indeed better as a whole.
On getting through anything: If it's happened before, remember you've gotten through it before, and may have reference to what helped or didn't help. If it hasn't happened before, zero in on what makes it worth getting through.
If you leave things down to mood, you won't do most things. Lean into the power of committing in advance. This is not about diminishing your own personal needs, but about having less room to let mood get the best of you.
To prepare is to prevail. Prepare, prepare, prepare.
In dealings with colleagues, assume best intent, and assume that they, too, are facing a host of specific and internalized pressures. Reframe interactions accordingly.
In any area of serious interest, you have two options: Commit to getting your foot in the door, or become remarkable enough to be invited through.
A practical lesson in physical exercise: You can do more than you think you can (whether you should is up to you).
Heed Seneca's advice to "cultivate [assets] which the passing of time improves." Build up assets that will always serve you.
People are less interested in you than they are in what they can achieve through you. Let this contextualize the majority of your corporate dealings.
Determine what game you're playing, and then how to play it. If your intents are not squarely in your mind and in reach, you will spiral at the first sense of derailment.
In all professional contexts, ensure that your primary contribution is in your actual work. Everything else, be it communal, volunteering, ancillary groups and the like are secondary, and are not to be conflated with the value provided through the specific job for which you're paid. I said it.
Create time to do the things you care about now, too; let your future self be the beneficiary of that decision.
Assess progress in the context of your own unique life—not another's, and not against options not presented to you. In the context of your options, how have you done?
Things are only hard when you don't do them often. Start, and if worthwhile, continue. The magic is in the maintenance.
Know when consistency matters more than perfection. Spoiler alert: The more consistent you are, the more likely you are to be relatively good, consistently.
More of life comes down to timing than we tend to acknowledge. Do your best with what you have, where you have it, when you have it. That's it.
"Balance" is a widespread societal euphemism for dissatisfaction everywhere. Do not pursue balance. Pursue the freedom to be wildly imbalanced in any direction your season requires.
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