Let Your Aim Be The Outcome
Often more motivating than an object or state of being itself is the validation presented by it. Authors Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp expound upon this concept effectively in book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, with "Commitment 11" positing that all human wants stem from a desire for approval, control, or security.
If we follow the Stoic guidance to lay all things bare to see them as they truly are, our desires included, what we'll find is a list of ways we've outsourced our contentment, consciously or subconsciously behaving in manners that put others as the dictators of our peace.
It's for this reason that the full commitment articulated in Commitment 11 in the work of Dethmer, Chapman, and Klemp is to that of "being the source of my security, control and approval." We become the solution by realizing that we are the solution.
Amidst our efforts toward productive striving, it's useful to differentiate between desires and goals. A goal is aimed for, set in a manner in which the aspirer recognizes the active role she plays in attaining it, and the practical steps required of her.
Though pulsating, a desire can be vague and may or may not be accompanied by a will to sustain it once realized; it is a craving that one often wants satisfied immediately. Akin to a wish, a desire tends to be something we want granted; contrarily, a goal is consciously pursued. This is why we commonly find metaphorical usages of arrows across Stoic texts—their direction is influenced by the archer's aim.
It's with this analogy in mind that we transition our focus from outcomes themselves, to becoming the person to whom certain outcomes are most likely to correspond.
In the now renowned behavior book Atomic Habits, author James Clear emphasizes that "every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. As the votes build up, so does the evidence of your identity.” In the actions, our aims are displayed.
Aim well.
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