An abridged version of this piece was originally published in THE STOIC magazine.

“Work with the material you are given.” -Epictetus

The makeup of your life to-date is the sum of the material you’ve been given. Your experiences, your setbacks, who your family is or isn’t, your abilities—the lot we’ve been assigned is out of our control, but what we do with and how we respond to it is. What you’ve just read is arguably the bedrock of Stoicism, and this piece is precisely about what gets us to that sought-after Stoic response—acceptance.

To understand what acceptance is and looks like, we must understand what it is not. Acceptance is not apathy, laziness, or idle helplessness. It’s not the status quo or refusing to push yourself. Acceptance is simply coming to terms with what is real (read: irrefutably, irrevocably true). It has nothing to do with whether you’re happy about said reality, and has everything to do with a peaceful acknowledgement of that thing—that concrete thing—being true.

Acceptance is saying, I care deeply and while this is not preferred, I acknowledge that this is my reality—my responsibility lies in how I bear it. Acceptance is not repeatedly getting angry over something existing. Acceptance transcends that cycle, empowering us to decide what to do given the circumstance.